Child behavior and parenting

Nnot wanting to go to bed, disobedient, whining... What does a child communicate with his or her behavior? There is no standard manual for raising children, every child has their own unique language, their own way of expressing themselves.

I am Hella Binnendijk, orthopedagogue and Integrative Child Therapist in training. I am very enthusiastic about running my own practice for Integrative Child Therapy in the heart of Amsterdam. Last week I gave my first workshop to the Nannies. The focus was on how important it is to make a child aware of his qualities and to give him or her the feeling that he or she is seen.

In the years that I babysat myself, I also encountered challenges. Children who don't want to brush their teeth, want to stay up as long as possible, want to use the iPad earlier than agreed... How do you deal with this? Where do you draw the line? And every child reacts differently.

What I have experienced in recent years and see in practice what works is to let the child think along for himself. Children love to think and often come up with the most creative solutions. For example, my babysitter refused to go to bed one night. I had tried everything to get him upstairs; 'Tomorrow you have to go back to school, your parents will be home soon, etc.' None of these arguments had the desired effect. Until I saw the reason why he didn't want to go upstairs. Of course he didn't want to go to bed, it was still too cozy downstairs! And besides, he knew he had to go to bed. I acknowledged his feelings and asked him the following question; 'How do you want to go to bed?' Suddenly we were in the ocean, we went up snorkeling, he brushed his teeth while swimming and after this adventurous dive he was soon in bed.

Make the child the owner of his or her problem. Give children a goal instead of an assignment and be surprised as a parent and nanny.

Have fun!

Greeting,
Hella Binnendijk

hellabinnendijk.nl